Who or Whom? Which Should You Use?

English grammar is full of rules that can be confusing, and one of the trickiest decisions is choosing between “who” and “whom.” Both words are used to ask questions or introduce clauses, but they serve different grammatical functions. The difference between “who” and “whom” can be subtle, and many people often mix them up. In this article, we will explore the rules for using “who” and “whom,” provide clear examples, and offer practice questions with answers to help clarify their proper usage.

By the end of this article, you’ll have a strong understanding of when to use “who” and when to use “whom,” which will help improve your writing and speaking skills.

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The Difference Between Who and Whom

The key to understanding the difference between “who” and “whom” lies in their grammatical roles.

• “Who” is used as a subject of a sentence or clause. It refers to the person performing the action.
• “Whom” is used as an object of a verb or preposition. It refers to the person receiving the action.

In simpler terms:

• Use “who” when you are referring to the person doing something.
• Use “whom” when you are referring to the person something is being done to.

1. Who: The Subject Pronoun

“Who” functions as a subject pronoun, just like “he,” “she,” or “they.” It is used to refer to the person performing the action of the verb.

Examples:

• Who is coming to the party?
  (Who is coming to the party? The person doing the action is the subject.)
• Who wrote this book?
  (Who wrote this book? The person writing is the subject.)
• I wonder who left the door open.
  (Who left the door open? The person who left the door open is the subject.)

2. Whom: The Object Pronoun

“Whom” functions as an object pronoun, just like “him,” “her,” or “them.” It is used to refer to the person on the receiving end of the action.

Examples:

• Whom did you invite to the wedding?
  (You invited whom? The person being invited is the object of the verb “invite.”)
• To whom should I address the letter?
  (The letter should be addressed to whom? The person receiving the letter is the object of the preposition “to.”)
• I don’t know whom to trust.
  (Whom should I trust? The person being trusted is the object of the verb “trust.”)

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How to Choose Between Who and Whom

Now that we’ve defined both “who” and “whom,” let’s look at a few strategies to help you choose the correct word in different situations.

1. The He/Him Test

One of the easiest ways to decide whether to use “who” or “whom” is to replace the word with “he” or “him.”

• If you can replace the word with “he” (a subject pronoun), then “who” is correct.
• If you can replace the word with “him” (an object pronoun), then “whom” is correct.

Here’s how it works:

Examples:

• Who/Whom is going to the store?
  Try the he/him test:
  He is going to the store. (Correct)
  Therefore, “who” is correct: Who is going to the store?
• Who/Whom did you see at the concert?
  Try the he/him test:
  You saw him at the concert. (Correct)
  Therefore, “whom” is correct: Whom did you see at the concert?

2. Look for the Verb and Preposition

Another strategy is to look for the verb or preposition in the sentence.

• If the word is the subject of the verb (doing the action), use “who.”
• If the word is the object of the verb or follows a preposition, use “whom.”

Examples:

• To who/whom am I speaking?
  The word follows the preposition “to,” so “whom” is correct: To whom am I speaking?
• Who/Whom gave you the gift?
  The word is the subject of the verb “gave,” so “who” is correct: Who gave you the gift?

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Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

1. Mixing Up “Who” and “Whom” in Questions

A common mistake is using “whom” when “who” is needed, or vice versa, especially in questions. Remember that “who” is for subjects (the person doing the action), and “whom” is for objects (the person receiving the action).

Incorrect:

• Whom is calling me? ❌
  (Expanded: He is calling me, not Him is calling me.)

Correct:

• Who is calling me? ✔️

Incorrect:

• Who should I give the book to? ❌
  (The word follows a preposition, “to,” so whom is correct.)

Correct:

• Whom should I give the book to? ✔️

2. Forgetting “Whom” after Prepositions

Many people forget to use “whom” after prepositions, but it’s important for formal writing or speaking. After prepositions like to, for, with, or about, always use “whom.”

Incorrect:

• With who are you going to the movies? ❌
  (The word follows the preposition “with,” so whom is correct.)

Correct:

• With whom are you going to the movies? ✔️

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How to Remember the Difference

Here are a few tips to help you remember when to use “who” and “whom.”

1. The He/Him Rule

As mentioned earlier, the “he/him” rule is a simple and reliable way to figure out whether to use “who” or “whom.” Just substitute “he” or “him” in the sentence. If “he” fits, use “who.” If “him” fits, use “whom.”

2. Think of “Whom” as “Him”

Both “whom” and “him” end with the letter “m.” This can be a helpful memory aid. If you would use “him” in the sentence, then “whom” is the correct choice. If you would use “he,” then “who” is the correct choice.

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Practice Questions: Who or Whom?

Let’s test your understanding with some practice questions. Choose the correct word to complete each sentence.

Question 1:

Which word is correct in the following sentence?

• _ is going to the meeting next week?

a) Who
b) Whom

Answer:
a) Who

Explanation: “Who” is the subject of the sentence (the person going to the meeting).

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Question 2:

Fill in the blank with the correct word:

• To _ should I send the invitation?

Answer:
To whom should I send the invitation?

Explanation: The word follows the preposition “to,” so “whom” is correct.

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Question 3:

True or False:
The word “whom” is used as a subject pronoun.

Answer:
False

Explanation: “Whom” is an object pronoun, not a subject pronoun.

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Question 4:

Which sentence is correct?

a) Who did you give the book to?
b) Whom did you give the book to?

Answer:
*b) Whom did you give the book to?

Explanation: “Whom” is the correct choice because it is the object of the verb “give.”

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Question 5:

Fill in the blank with the correct word:

• _ wrote this amazing essay?

Answer:
Who wrote this amazing essay?

Explanation: “Who” is the subject of the sentence (the person doing the writing).

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Why Correct Usage Matters

Using “who” and “whom” correctly is important for clear and grammatically correct communication. In informal conversation, people often use “who” even when “whom” is technically correct, and that’s usually acceptable in casual settings. However, in formal writing—such as academic papers, business communications, or professional emails—using the correct form is crucial.

Misusing “who” and “whom” can make your writing seem less polished and may even confuse your reader. For example, using “who” when “whom” is required can make you seem unfamiliar with proper grammar, especially in formal contexts.

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Conclusion

In summary, the difference between “who” and “whom” comes down to their grammatical roles in a sentence. “Who” is used as the subject of a sentence (the person doing the action), while “whom” is used as the object (the person receiving the action). By understanding these roles and using tools like the he/him test, you can confidently choose the correct word every time.

Key Takeaways:

• “Who” is a subject pronoun, used for the person performing the action.
• “Whom” is an object pronoun, used for the person receiving the action.
• Use the he/him test to determine which word to use: if “he” fits, use “who”; if “him” fits, use “whom.”

By practicing and applying these rules, you’ll be able to avoid common mistakes and ensure that your writing is both clear and grammatically correct.